Dr. Lorena Lopez-Tobia Dr. Lorena Lopez-Tobia

DBT Skills for New Moms & Dads.

Becoming a new mom or dad is an incredibly exciting and transformative experience, but it also brings its share of challenges. The combination of joy, fatigue, and overwhelm can be intense. One powerful resource for navigating this transition is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).

What is DBT?

DBT was originally developed to help people manage intense emotions and develop healthier ways of coping with stress. It combines cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) with concepts from mindfulness practices. DBT is centered around four key areas:

  1. Mindfulness

  2. Distress Tolerance

  3. Emotion Regulation

  4. Interpersonal Effectiveness

1. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a core concept of DBT and involves staying present, without judgment, in the current moment. For new moms and dads, mindfulness can be a powerful tool to help manage the constant changes and demands of caring for a baby.

Mindfulness Helps by:

  • Reducing Overwhelm

  • Strengthening Bonding

  • Helping Manage Mom/Dad Guilt

Simple Mindfulness Exercise for New parents:

When you’re feeding, rocking, or even just watching your baby, take a few moments to focus on your breath. Feel the rise and fall of your chest. Notice the sensations of warmth and weight as you hold your baby. If your mind wanders, gently bring it back to the present moment without self-criticism.

2. Distress Tolerance

There will inevitably be times when motherhood and fatherhood feels overwhelming—whether it's dealing with a crying baby at 3 a.m. or navigating a new phase of development. Distress tolerance skills are essential during these moments. These skills are designed to help you manage crisis moments.

Distress Tolerance Skills help by:

  • Stoping Escalations

  • Promoting Self-Soothing

3. Emotion Regulation

New parents often experience a rollercoaster of emotions. From joy and love to fear and frustration. New parents may find it difficult to manage such a wide range of feelings. Emotion regulation skills help you understand your emotions and reduce emotional vulnerability.

How Emotion Regulation skills Help:

  • Increase Self-Awareness

  • Promote Balanced Emotions

4. Interpersonal Effectiveness

As a new parent, your relationships with your partner, family, and friends will evolve. You may need more support that you ever needed in the past, or you might struggle to balance your needs with the needs of others. Interpersonal effectiveness skills help you communicate more effectively, set boundaries, and ask for what you need—without guilt or resentment.

How Interpersonal Effectiveness Helps:

  • Improves Communication

  • Strengthens Relationships

Conclusion

Parenthood is a journey that brings new joys, but also new emotional challenges. By integrating DBT skills like mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness into your repertoire, you can navigate the ups and downs with greater resilience and calm.

Lotura Psychology Practice will be offering a six week New Mom’s DBT Skills Group in January 2025.

If you’re interested, please be in touch for more information.

Email: drlorena@loturapsychology.com

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Dr. Lorena Lopez-Tobia Dr. Lorena Lopez-Tobia

Psychotherapy during Maternity Leave

The postpartum period represents a uniquely vulnerable phase in a mother’s journey, marked by significant responsibilities and adjustments. First time or fourth time moms alike may experience symptoms that make it difficult for them to feel like themselves emotionally. 

Research emphasizes that maternal mental health plays a key role in the child’s development. For the mother and baby, it is crucial that mothers receive quality and substantial support from partners, family, friends, and psychotherapy during these initial months of a child’s life. 

 

Key Postpartum Statistics:

  • Depression: Up to 20% of new mothers experience postpartum depression following childbirth.

  • Anxiety: Seventeen percent (17%) of new mothers report experiencing postpartum anxiety.

  • Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: 16.9% of postpartum women report symptoms of OCD. 

These statistics underscore the imperative need for therapy during the postpartum period. Below you can find an outline for a typical course of treatment for new mothers considering therapy during their maternity leave.

 

Benefits of Therapy During Maternity Leave Include: 

Usually, working moms might not have the ability to schedule sessions throughout their busy workweeks. During maternity leave, mothers might have the unique flexibility to schedule sessions. Other benefits of therapy during maternity leave are,

  • Symptom Management

  • Validation and Emotional Support 

  • Enhanced Bonding with Baby

  • Trauma Processing

  • Developing Coping Strategies

  • Self-Care

  • Long-Term Benefits

 

Treatment Outline:

During our initial consultation, we will assess your unique needs for treatment during maternity leave. Below is a broad outline of what a typical course of treatment may look like.

Phase 1a - Symptom Reduction: Initially, the focus will be on alleviating immediate symptoms. Whether dealing with postpartum depression, anxiety, or OCD, collaborative efforts will center around developing coping strategies for daily living. Techniques such as deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation (PMR), and medication management may be integrated to provide symptom relief.

Phase 1b- Assessing Proper Supports: In the initial phase, we will also have to assess whether a mother has proper support in place. It really does take a village, and we will assess whether you feel supported by the village around you.

Phase 2a- Exploring Attachment Patterns: Building upon attachment research outcomes, sessions will delve into questions and reflections that enhance understanding of one's attachment framework. This exploration is fundamental to fostering emotionally healthy attachment bonds with children.

Phase 2b- Trauma Processing: Addressing intergenerational trauma forms a critical part of the therapeutic process. Postpartum anxiety, depression, or OCD may stem from past traumatic experiences. Therapy facilitates gradual processing and comprehension of these events, thereby diminishing their emotional impact. By integrating and understanding trauma, individuals can pursue healing, regain a sense of security, and cultivate resilience, which is crucial for nurturing emotionally secure and resilient children.

Phase 3- Returning to Work: As maternity leave concludes, it is common for mothers to experience a range of emotions including grief, excitement, fear, and more. These feelings will be explored thoroughly during the final phase of maternity leave treatment.

Phase 4- Maintenance Phase: As maternity leave ends, a realistic plan for ongoing treatment will be discussed. Many mothers find bi-weekly or monthly sessions feasible while balancing work commitments. 

Conclusions

The postpartum period is a pivotal time in a mother’s life, influencing not only her own well-being but also the foundation of her child’s emotional development through secure attachment. As highlighted by research and statistics, addressing mental health challenges during this phase is essential for promoting positive outcomes for both mother and child. Together, we will collaborate on tailoring a unique therapeutic approach for your maternity leave. Women have found that psychotherapy during maternity leave has provided them with invaluable support in navigating the complexities of this period. From symptom management and understanding attachment patterns to processing trauma and preparing for the return to work, each phase of treatment plays a crucial role in promoting resilience and well-being. 



Recommended Research Articles:

For those interested in the science of Attachment Theory research, seminal papers on the topic include:

  • Fonagy, P., Steele, H., & Steele, M. (1991). Maternal representations of attachment during pregnancy predict the organization of infant‐mother attachment at one year of age. Child development, 62(5), 891-905.

  • Steele, H., Steele, M., & Croft, C. (2008). Early attachment predicts emotion recognition at 6 and 11 years old. Attachment & Human Development, 10(4), 379-393.

  • Steele, H., Steele, M., Croft, C., & Fonagy, P. (1999). Infant‐mother attachment at one year predicts children’s understanding of mixed emotions at six years. Social development, 8(2), 161-178.

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