Dr. Lorena Lopez-Tobia Dr. Lorena Lopez-Tobia

DBT Skills for New Moms & Dads.

Becoming a new mom or dad is an incredibly exciting and transformative experience, but it also brings its share of challenges. The combination of joy, fatigue, and overwhelm can be intense. One powerful resource for navigating this transition is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).

What is DBT?

DBT was originally developed to help people manage intense emotions and develop healthier ways of coping with stress. It combines cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) with concepts from mindfulness practices. DBT is centered around four key areas:

  1. Mindfulness

  2. Distress Tolerance

  3. Emotion Regulation

  4. Interpersonal Effectiveness

1. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a core concept of DBT and involves staying present, without judgment, in the current moment. For new moms and dads, mindfulness can be a powerful tool to help manage the constant changes and demands of caring for a baby.

Mindfulness Helps by:

  • Reducing Overwhelm

  • Strengthening Bonding

  • Helping Manage Mom/Dad Guilt

Simple Mindfulness Exercise for New parents:

When you’re feeding, rocking, or even just watching your baby, take a few moments to focus on your breath. Feel the rise and fall of your chest. Notice the sensations of warmth and weight as you hold your baby. If your mind wanders, gently bring it back to the present moment without self-criticism.

2. Distress Tolerance

There will inevitably be times when motherhood and fatherhood feels overwhelming—whether it's dealing with a crying baby at 3 a.m. or navigating a new phase of development. Distress tolerance skills are essential during these moments. These skills are designed to help you manage crisis moments.

Distress Tolerance Skills help by:

  • Stoping Escalations

  • Promoting Self-Soothing

3. Emotion Regulation

New parents often experience a rollercoaster of emotions. From joy and love to fear and frustration. New parents may find it difficult to manage such a wide range of feelings. Emotion regulation skills help you understand your emotions and reduce emotional vulnerability.

How Emotion Regulation skills Help:

  • Increase Self-Awareness

  • Promote Balanced Emotions

4. Interpersonal Effectiveness

As a new parent, your relationships with your partner, family, and friends will evolve. You may need more support that you ever needed in the past, or you might struggle to balance your needs with the needs of others. Interpersonal effectiveness skills help you communicate more effectively, set boundaries, and ask for what you need—without guilt or resentment.

How Interpersonal Effectiveness Helps:

  • Improves Communication

  • Strengthens Relationships

Conclusion

Parenthood is a journey that brings new joys, but also new emotional challenges. By integrating DBT skills like mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness into your repertoire, you can navigate the ups and downs with greater resilience and calm.

Lotura Psychology Practice will be offering a six week New Mom’s DBT Skills Group in January 2025.

If you’re interested, please be in touch for more information.

Email: drlorena@loturapsychology.com

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