How Your Relationship Impacts Postpartum Mental Health.
Postpartum Couples Therapy Can Be a Powerful Tool for Healing and Support
When we talk about postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety, we often focus on identity shifts, hormonal changes, lack of sleep, or the stress of adjusting to parenthood. The health of your partnership is another major contributing factor.
While pregnancy and postpartum depression can certainly strain a couple, research shows that the quality of the relationship itself can significantly influence whether or not a parent develops a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder (PMAD).
The Relationship & PMAD Connection
According to research, less secure attachment between partners and dissatisfaction with partner support is linked to higher rates of postpartum depression and postpartum PTSD. During the postpartum period, when identity, roles, and routines are rapidly shifting, a supportive and emotionally safe relationship can make all the difference.
When support is lacking, new parents may feel isolated and overwhelmed, increasing their risk of developing PMADs. This is especially true for those navigating major transitions, such as becoming parents for the first time or recovering from a difficult birth.
Partner Support Matters
The presence of strong partner support is comforting and protective. Research consistently shows that partner support is associated with improved outcomes for postpartum depression. Small acts like attending appointments together, sharing late-night feedings, and offering emotional validation can build connection and reduce stress.
If you’re feeling distant or disconnected from your partner in the early stages of parenthood, you are not alone. This is a time of enormous change, and it is common for couples to experience miscommunication, frustration, or emotional withdrawal.
The key is to communicate your isolation and loneliness. Postpartum couples therapy can be an essential tool in helping you reconnect and navigate this season with greater resilience.
Poor Support: The #1 Non-Biological Risk Factor
Research consistently shows that poor partner support is the strongest non-biological predictor of postpartum depression. Feeling unsupported in your relationship is enough to trigger symptoms of depression or anxiety.
Postpartum support needs to go beyond just physical recovery. Postpartum support needs to include emotional and relational care as well. Postpartum couple’s therapy can create space for both partners to process changes, express needs, and reestablish intimacy.
The Role of Postpartum Couples Therapy
Postpartum couples therapy is a powerful tool for rebuilding connection, strengthening communication, and navigating new roles as parents. It is especially valuable for couples experiencing:
Emotional disconnection
Changes in physical or sexual intimacy
Differing parenting styles
Lingering grief or trauma from birth
Feelings of resentment or overwhelm
Working with a therapist who specializes in perinatal mental health can help you and your partner feel more aligned and supported as you move through this unique chapter of life.
Helpful resource
To deepen your understanding about relationship dynamics in the postpartum period, here is a helpful research-based book:
And Baby Makes Three by Drs. John and Julie Gottman.
This is a valuable resource many couples find helpful. This evidence-based guide offers practical tools for keeping your relationship strong and connected after the birth of a child.
Next steps
If you are navigating postpartum depression, feeling disconnected from your partner, or simply want more support during this life transition, you do not have to go through it alone. Therapy can help you reconnect and move forward together. Dr. Lorena Lopez-Tobia and Dr. Min Souther both specialize is postpartum couples support. We would be glad to schedule a complimentary phone consultation with you.
Contact us using our form here.
Regulating the Nervous System: Simple, Everyday Strategies
While managing stressful jobs, parenting, or navigating our relationships, it is common for our nervous systems to become stuck in a dysregulated state. This might show up as constant scanning of your environment, heightened anxiety, feeling shut down, or a sense of disconnection. Nervous system regulation is the process of helping your body return to a state of safety, presence, and balance.
Below are some simple, evidence-informed strategies you can try to regulate and support your nervous system.
In sessions, we will often scan the body for signals of a dysregulated nervous system, and we can experiment with these strategies to find ones that resonate with your lifestyle and preference.
Nervous System Regulation Strategies
Deep, Slow Breathing
Inhale through your nose for 4 counts, exhale through your mouth for 6–8 counts. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system and signals safety to the body.Grounding Exercises
Try the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste.Gentle Movement
Walking, stretching, yoga, or rocking can help release stored tension and re-regulate the body.Cold Water or Splashing Your Face
Brief exposure to cold activates the vagus nerve, which helps calm the nervous system.Soothing Touch
Place a hand over your heart or give yourself a gentle hug. Safe, intentional touch can reduce stress hormones and increase feelings of safety.Co-regulation
Spend time with a calm, trusted person or pet. Regulation is contagious — nervous systems attune to one another.Hum, Sing, or Chant
These vocal vibrations stimulate the vagus nerve and support emotional regulation.Limit Stimulation
Reduce noise, screens, or visual clutter when you're feeling overwhelmed.Body Scan or Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Bring awareness to different parts of your body and consciously release tension.Spend Time in Nature
Even just a few minutes outside can help calm the body and reconnect you with the present moment.